Videos
"Jacob's Bladder and other libel stories"
Highlights of my one-man show .
DVDs of the full hour-long show are available to buy and you will soon be able to download it from iTunes! Watch this space...
Poet for Hire!
Need entertaining? "Jacob's Bladder and other libel stories" is adaptable to your needs.
Poems
John Hegley on my poetry: "It's good. I like it"
The Darwin Awards
Are you a contender for twit of the year? Well, don't be upset, you could still win a prize
Is your brain just a load of old goo? 'Cos the Darwin Awards' only rule
When God was delivering intelligence genes Is show us how stupid a person can be
Did you stand at the back of the queue? And remove yourself from the gene pool...
Waterloo
To pay to pee, to pay to poo
Oh, how I really need the loo,
But I don't like to pay to pee,
To pay to poo
Seems wrong to me,
Does it to you?
The Man Who Married Late
If life begins at 40, then 50's only 10.
And some would think it naughty to think of marriage then.
But better that then leave it late, as you will surely see
In the tale of Alf, who had to wait till he was 93:
Dear Alf was 93 when he fell in love at last.
His life till then had been ok, but nothing much had passed.
"With love in store" decided Alf, "it's time that I should wed."
But when the famous day arrived, our Alfie turned up dead...
